Just a minute
My blog has been highly neglected recently, I am still learning to juggle the 2 littles, the house and maintain a reasonable level of personal hygiene. For the foreseeable future I will be dipping in and out of the blog, trying to keep giving a few updates and when I have 'time' then commit to it again. Like everyone, mum or not, life is so busy and it just feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Time is flying by, my baby will be 6 months next week which just feels insane.
Whilst cleaning, washing and tidying is supposed to be the things that come way down the priority list when you have kids I am slightly ashamed and feeling guilty to admit that when my house is a mess is when I feel most stressed.
I heard a lovely poem today that I had heard before but it always hits a nerve with me, it is about how the housework can wait 'as babies don't keep.' I am watching my littles grow up so fast right in front of my eyes, I can't slow it down and I feel like a girl running after a train, with her arm stretched out for it to stop and wait on her.
But nothing is waiting.
Tonight for the millionth time I caught myself say the words 'just a minute', I was cutting potatoes and Bella wanted another drink of juice.
I say 'just a minute, hold on, give me a second' etc more times than I can count in a day and I had to question myself why that potato needed fully peeled first.
I stopped. Got down to her level and asked her to help me, we played and chatted as she held the cup for me pour the juice, she loves being involved. Before I knew it she had run off and was away playing again.
Again the guilt struck. I know I'm not going to stop wizzing around the house and doing the washing when I get 2 minutes free, it won't do itself and unfortunately, as brilliant as a cleaner would be, maternity pay just won't stretch to that. What I can do is always make sure that my girls don't wait 'Just a minute' for the floors to be brushed or dishwasher emptied.
I recently read that a professor asked 'children spell love' and then he spelt out 'T.I.M.E'. It is so true and with toddlers that have short attention spans anyway it doesn't have to be elaborate or long, as long as it is of quality.
We have playtimes everyday, our favourite being with the dolls house and now when I sit down for a cup of tea Bella is joining me with Annie chatting along too, though I am aware that soon enough again I will be back working full time hours, these days together will become fewer and trying to do everything I am currently doing as well as work means that the time I have with them in the evening will be most important.
Today the 3 of us visited an elderly lady, she rocked Annie whilst smiling and letting Annie's little hand hold her finger, she played along with Bella and watched her run full of energy around the room. I could see in her eyes how happy she was to have a bit of time with my little whirlwinds and she was fully enjoying that moment.
I have to remind my self as hard and busy as days can be that my babies only want a minute, someday when I look back it will feel like they were only babies for a minute and someday I will maybe be the lady sitting lonely, wishing so hard that I could stop and have them sit on my knee, if only for 'just a minute.'