The pressures we put on ourselves
Since I started back to work in May this is the first full week off I have had that we have had nothing planned. At first I was excited about it, imagined that we would take daily spontenious trips to petting farms, swimming pool, soft play etc. Lots of super fun things for toddlers squeezed into a week off because, you know I feel I should be doing more of this when I am working.
The other side though is the little tasks I have been letting build up, nothing that 'needs' done but the things that day and daily 'do my head in' so to speak, like the fact my wardrobe still held jeans I owned from when I was 15, that I wore half way down my butt but I have magpie syndrome (don't google it I just made that up) and hoard everything making it impossible to hang the ironing up without putting my entire body weight into holding the clothes back to slot it in, so naturally this week was also for ticking off tasks on the 'to do'list.
Yesterday evening I realised that I had barely done a thing for the girls instead I got the wardrobes cleared out, ran multiple trips to charity shops, properly cleaned the house and done some other errands. I felt rubbish that we got nearly the whole way through the week without having a day trip, but unfortunately no one will do these things for you however I couldn't help but feel that my priority was sorting the house and not making memories with the girls. You know how it goes, messy houses = too busy making memories and all that so now with my wardrobes cleared, house cleaned I felt like this meant I would be left with miserable kids (I don't believe that for one second but that's for an entirely different post).
I had to catch myself on. There is no question when I was clearing wardrobes that the kids could have been doing something much more fun, they instead were totally engrossed in playing with my 'frubes' taking them in and out of the box and lining them up (I'll let you work out what the frubes are 😜) but kids need to also know how to amuse themselves. There were mornings we lay in our pjs, drinking smoothies and watching Doc McStuffins, baking, going into the town at our leisure, having lunch, stopping off at the park for a few hours and heading to an outdoor exercise class that was mainly for me but add other kids and the outdoors into the mix and that's all children want.
We may not have had a week spent at adventure grounds or spent a fortune but we spent all our time together, pottering, chatting and just living slow. When our day and daily has become defined by the clock and time it was refreshing to have a week of pottering and dancing in the kitchen in our pjs.
I feel refreshed after a week off and being better organised at home definitely clears my head (and I'm not ashamed to admit that) but I got a taste of what it was like again to be home all the time with the girls, there wasn't as much pressure then to make everyday something great!
I think I need to remind my working mum self that and the best part about it is that we have all had the best and easiest week, Bella even told me on a few occasions how much she loves me and how fun her day has been.
Being together is enough, the rest is just pressures we put on ourselves.
'I love you harder than I can squeeze you mummy' - Bella 29/09/2016